Uncertain Friendship

I was supposed to get together with a friend for dinner this evening but it didn’t happen. I don’t know the circumstances that surrounded his inability to meet but I have to admit it wasn’t a complete shock. In fact when we made the plans last week there was a part of me that wondered if this would happen.

Things tend to come up when we try to meet.

I haven’t really been in close contact with this friend for quite some time. He’s gone through some difficult circumstances, the details of which I still don’t really know, and distance has come between us. However when we decided last week that we were going to meet up for some burgers I can’t tell you how excited I was. This is a guy that I have tried to invest in. A guy that I have stay up late thinking about and praying for. A guy my heart has broken for because of the situations he’s faced. A guy that despite his mistake I still respect a great deal.

He’s one of those people that has a contagious personality and I can’t help but think about the incredible impact he could have if only he could get his like back on track.

It’s kind of strange, we don’t have a ton in common but he is one of the few people that I absolutely love getting together with whenever the opportunity presents itself. Whether it’s just grabbing coffee, going shooting or getting a bite to eat I genuinely value my time with him. So when I found out today that we weren’t going to be able to get together I was left frustrated.

Frustrated because this wasn’t the first time this has happened. Frustrated because I was looking forward to catching up. Frustrated because I feel like God has put me in this guy’s life for a reason but I’m uncertain of exactly why.

I’d like to think that I’m in a position to help him grow in his relationship with Christ. Grow as man of God…as a father.

And so this evening I’m left feeling uncertain of this friendship. Does he really want to be friends? Can God really use me in this situation? How can I keep investing in this relationship when it doesn’t really seem to be  reciprocated?

I suppose I wouldn’t care so much if I didn’t really believe that this guy has a lot to offer others.

But he does.

And so tonight as I get ready to turn into bed my prayer is that he would realize just that. That he has a lot to offer. And even though I sometimes wonder if it’s worth continuing to put for the effort to be friends, I know it is and I will continue doing whatever I can to not only maintain our friendship, but to keep growing it.