The Knot In The Pit Of My Stomach

Proverbs 16:20 says, “Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.”

I pointed that verse out in our staff meeting on Tuesday because it’s something that I have really been working on for the last several months. I’ve been working extremely hard on being teachable. Extremely hard on putting my pride aside for the sake of growth and development.

However, doing so can be ridiculously hard.

Case in point, the conversation I had today with my life coach/mentor. Basically he tore me up or at least something that I had worked hard on. For lack of a better word the conversation, “sucked.”

I’ve had a knot in the pit of my stomach ever since.

There were things that he said that I agreed with, others that I see differently, but ultimately it was hearing that in his opinion I completely missed the mark that is the hardest to take.

It’s hard because after I had completed the task I felt great. I thought I did a good job.

Maybe I didn’t.

This sort of thing is especially hard for me to take because my “love language” is words of affirmation and while I know the critique of my work was in love and only to make me better, it was not words of affirmation.

So hear I sit, stomach knotted, wondering if I’ve messed things up. From talking to other people it seems as though I am far from messing things up. In fact I have heard things that have gone completely against the perspective laid out there for me today.

Yet, I respect my mentor’s opinion (even though I kind of hate it right now) and I know there is truth in it.

I trust that God has placed people in my life who are wiser, more experienced and full of insight because I need it. As hard as it is to swallow my pride, as much as I want to go puke my guts out because my stomach is in a knot, I know that “those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.”

Boy my stomach hurts…